There is the right way to parent and there is the wrong way. Making the child scared of you is not the way to parent. Your child will cut all ties off with you when they are tired of the abuse.
When someone destroys something you love, you would be upset. When it is done when punishing an autistic child or any child, it can cause trauma.
Autistic children and adults attach themselves to certain objects. These objects bring comfort and can bring someone out of a crisis or meltdown.
There has been a rise of this on the internet. Parents will post videos of themselves destroying property belonging to their children. They do this to humiliate them. Some parents even encourage them and say its GOOD PARENTING. This could not be further front the truth.
It can stick with them through adulthood. Let me bring you back to the 1990's.
Being Punished for Photocopying my Torah portion
Being Punished for Executive Dysfunction
I was about 15 years old. I had just gotten a boombox, which was my way of listening to music. The bass on it allowed me to feel the vibrations of it. I was working for a local grocery store chain. I absolutely loved it. My father asked me to record a cd he bought at a yard sale to an audio cassette. Easy enough?
I suffer from executive dysfunction. I always have. We did not know back then that I am autistic but we definitely knew I had ADHD. I went to go do it and then I got distracted and did something else. We all know how it goes.
One day he decided that he waited long enough. He takes my boombox that I paid for at the job I worked at. He threw it on the ground over and over again. It smashed into tiny little pieces.
As he smashed it, he was screaming at me. He didn't hit me this time, I was thankful. I loved that thing. It was a big part of my life, since I did not have many friends. He screamed at me to clean up the big mess he made.
"If you cannot remember, it must not be important" is all he kept repeating. I was a teenager but that is a very ableist statement. As most of you know I was not supported growing up. I was counting down the days until I could leave home.